Welcome to Becoming Selene

It’s said that in adolescence, mothers transition from being the sun around which their children orbit to being the moon, always lingering nearby and casting a glowing light. In Greek mythology, Selene was the moon goddess, personified. This space exists to support mothers during the uniquely difficult transition to “becoming Selene.”

What is “Becoming Selene” and Why?

I became a mother in 2007. I mothered during the beginning through the peak of the “Mom Blog” era. Not to be too dramatic, but some of the stories in those blogs saved my soul. I felt less alone, less stupid and part of a global community of mothering.

But it soon became evident that mom blogging would need to change, and not only because Instagram and “the visual” would show on the scene to transform the way moms related to one another. More importantly, as we all became better acquainted with the power and peril of the internet and social media, moms began asking some really important questions. Should I feature my children in stories online? Whose story is this to tell? Will my child interview for a job one day only to have tales of her being potty trained show up in a pre-interview internet search?

My good friend Emily is a mental health professional and mother of five, ranging in age from college to middle school. We get together for coffee or lunch and invariably our conversations turn to how challenging parenting through adolescence is and how desperately alone we feel in our pain, loneliness anxiety, etc. We always tear up.

What Emily and I have come to understand is that there is a lot of shame and vulnerability around what happens with parent/child relationships during adolescence and the issues our kids face can be mind-blowingly tough. Even in the very best of situations.

The problem is, unlike when I was internet searching “sleep regression” and “nipple confusion,” there is not much written about parenting teens to offer the same camaraderie and dialogue the early mom blogs did. Rightly so. Because no one should be sharing the raw, real stories of their identifiable children’s lives online.

Becoming Selene is a way for mothers to tell their stories without violating the trust or privacy of their children. It’s a space to speak openly to others mired in the struggle in a way that respects other people’s agency.

Who is Becoming Selene?

Well, if you are in the phase of parenting where your child is individuating, pulling away and developing an identity of his, her or their own, then this space is for you.

It’s also by you.

Because yours are the stories we will be telling. Anonymously. Generically. Respectfully.

How Will it Work?

We have a form for submissions. You can find it here. This online form is completely anonymous. Unless you provide information that discloses your personal information, it’s not available on the form and not required to submit.

Submissions should center on parenting, caregiving or womanhood* in transition, primarily in families with children 12 and older. There are lessons to be learned from parenting in the past, so those with stories to share about parenting teens and young adults from years or decades ago should also feel free to offer their experiences. There is more detail on the form, so please click to explore.

I will edit the entries for content and clarity. I will not get in contact with the person who submits because I won’t know who they are. On a semi-regular to regular basis, I will share the posts here, in this feed. Eventually, we may move to a newsletter format but this will be the Becoming Selene home for now.

Questions?

This is new and evolving, so expect some pivots in the early days. Please know that it is a tremendous honor to share your struggles — and successes, because we want those, too!

If you have questions, please feel free to email me.

I look forward to reading your words.

* While we are focused on mothering, parents of any gender identity are welcome to submit. And certainly, “womanhood” is best defined by the submitter. If gender identity or sexuality is relevant to the submission, feel free to offer that context. But such disclosure is never required.